Songs Joseph Would Hate

• Edward James +2 — The apex of late 2000s ukulele twee slop. There are at least five distinct elements in this song that alone would warrant it being chosen. Incredible incorrect restraint Schoen to wait for this round instead of the millennial round. Bravo.
• SamRobertsND +1
• fionmul +1 — Knew this would suck from… well everything about it Made me laugh aloud
• Joseph Harvey +1 — Ok, well done. Atrocious lyrics, totally banal musically, annoyingly millennial. A civilization that can produce this deserves to be destroyed
• Sam Ary +1
• Claire +1 — At first I thought “he’d find this saccharine and annoying but idk if he’d *hate* it.” But when they started to bring in the gang vocals and the stomp claps I was sold
• shea nowicki +1
• judd.baker +1 — Kind of lazy but I don’t care, this is exactly the kind of hot garbage I would expect to see here

• ared56 +1
• Joseph Harvey +1 — Wow that’s an annoying chorus
• Sam Ary +1
• Claire +1 — Upvote for vegetarian slander
• Regina Scime +1
• judd.baker +1 — If this artist was already mentioned in a previous round then I confess I’ve forgotten, but I’m confident Joseph would hate this and I think it gets a lot of the particulars of anti-Josephcore right
• Edward James 0 — I can see why you would pick this, but I don’t actually think it has the elements that make this type of music annoying to Joseph. I think he will be ambivalent to this, and will think the vocal talent is impressive.
• fionmul 0 — This made me laugh. I would force him to bop to this if I played it in the car. But yeah it’s anti joseph fs. In the end got beat out by asscheek or whatever that band with the goats was.

• Peter Seeley +2 — Deranged. This is what we're here for
• Edward James +1 — This is garbage. Incredible choice. How did you even find this?
• SamRobertsND +1 — I love this! It’s like baby weird Al
• fionmul +1
• Joseph Harvey 0 — Annoying but unworthy of wrath. It is slightly clever
• Regina Scime 0 — Why did this feel like AI:(

• fionmul +1 — Yeah this is bad
• Joseph Harvey +1 — Degenerate filth. Lord have mercy on me, a sinner
• Claire +1 — Yeah I can’t imagine him not grimacing at this
• shea nowicki +1
• Regina Scime +1
• Edward James 0 — I don’t like submissions that rely entirely on content alone. Needs to be deeper than that.
• SamRobertsND 0 — Unmemorable
• judd.baker -1 — I think this is just crass without getting anything special about what makes a song “a song Joseph would hate.”

• ared56 +2
• fionmul +1 — Yeah even I hated this
• Regina Scime +1
• Edward James 0 — This is a good pick, it fits the millennial mumbo-jumbo category that Joseph can’t stand.
• Joseph Harvey 0 — More inoffensively bland than hate-worthy. Not quite offensively bland. Also already a well known object of my derision
• Claire 0 — Another known Joseph dislike. But yeah, this is pretty annoying
• judd.baker 0 — Almost got me until I clocked the call back to a previous submission
• SamRobertsND -1 — Lazy we know he hates this

• Edward James +1 — I would punish this for being a lazy pic since Joseph’s hatred of Sammy Rae is already known, but then the message of “whatever I feel, whatever I want to do” is also the most anti-Joseph thing I could ever imagine. So I will reward it.
• Joseph Harvey +1 — Finally, a worthy opponent. Questionable submission because my hatred of Sammy Rae is already known, but I can’t resist all the same. What drives me crazy is that she obviously has an amazing voice but chooses to use it in the most obnoxious way possible with the most grating lyrics
• Sam Ary +1
• shea nowicki +1
• SamRobertsND 0 — Lazy we know he hates this
• fionmul 0 — Ok past artist seems not allowed (in any case it’s not that bad to me)
• Claire -1 — An artist that Joseph explicitly said would win this round just is too easy of a submission, sorry

judd.baker: Embarrassment of riches here, really struggled to find something positively vile. So I trusted my gut that if I like a song Joseph will probably dislike

• SamRobertsND +1
• ared56 +1
• Claire +1 — Yeah I think this works
• Edward James 0 — I recognize this album cover, I remember liking the song or two, but this was not good lol. Narrowly loses to a few others on the list.
• fionmul 0 — A mild offense
• Joseph Harvey 0 — Is it even worthy of my hatred

• Peter Seeley +2 — Finally, a song both Joseph and Alex can hate together. I imagine this is what the Ghibbelines sounded like when they wanted to duss the Guelphs
• judd.baker +1 — Not Portuguese
• fionmul 0 — My bro showed me this once and I was just like hmmm and it came to mind as something joseph would hate (sorry it’s in another language but hopefully that’s not going to disqualify me) but I’ll probs workout to this in Italy cuz when in Rome yktv but yeah just seemed like he would be like “this is everything wrong with rap”
• Joseph Harvey 0 — Boring and terrible, but not especially remarkable
• Claire 0 — This wasn’t actually that musically offensive? Like yeah Joseph isn’t gonna *like* it but I’m not sure it will disgust him either
• Edward James -1 — This was kind of awesome. I don’t think Joseph will hate this, even if he doesn’t really prefer it. Seems wasted on this round instead of waiting for the next.

• SamRobertsND +1 — Songs Sammy would love
• shea nowicki +1
• judd.baker +1 — Upvoting this for being more creative than some other submissions without simply being nasty like some of the other submissions
• Edward James 0 — Amazing. I should have pulled out my Eddie does William Shatner doing rocket man ages ago. But it does seem like it would be relying entirely the gimmick to vote for this.
• fionmul 0 — Lol
• Joseph Harvey 0 — Isn’t this just ironically bad? Not hitting the mark
• Claire 0 — Wait I actually kinda rock with this. Will Joseph? Idk
• ared56 -1
• Sam Ary -1

• Sam Ary +1
• Regina Scime +1
• fionmul 0 — Not egregious enough even for him. Also lol because I knew this was on the playlist but I was listening to Noah before I started this and then got confused when he came back on.
• Claire 0 — Eh, I imagine it annoys him, but feels too mainstream
• judd.baker 0 — Noah Kahan feels too easy
• Joseph Harvey -1 — This is a nice, competently written song that hooked my attention and kept it. Nice attempts at ragebait with the weed and Covid references
• shea nowicki -1

• Edward James 0 — I feel like Joseph probably doesn’t like Metallica, and this was a very lackluster song, but did not stand out from the rest.
• SamRobertsND 0 — Lazy we know he hates this
• Claire 0 — Maybe he likes Metallica though? If he ever explicitly said he dislikes them then I missed it. (But if that were the case I also wouldn’t give it a vote on grounds of lack of originality)
• fionmul -1 — Guitar riff is too cool for him to fully hate
• Peter Seeley -1 — Somehow the least bad (probably because Joe submitted it)
• Regina Scime -1